10 irregular predictions (and somewhat hilarious) stolen, borrowed, plagiarized and culled by Dennis Howlett

Amplify’d from www.zdnet.com

‘Tis that time once again when analysts of all stripes have the Pavlov Dog urge to churn out predictions for the coming year. They can’t help themselves. In the spirit of injecting realism into such things here are my highly Irregular predictions for 2011. Some have been stolen, borrowed, plagiarized or culled from colleagues’ remarks on Twitter. You know who you are but trust me; I’m in media; I’ve got your backs.

2011 will be like 2010 only more so. Collaboration will be big. Somewhere. It will be increasingly cloudy. Especially in Manchester, north west England where they get 300 days of rain a year. Elsewhere, the IT media will be buried in cloudy press releases. Industry analysts wont revisit their 2010 predictions without massaging what they said before. Almost nobody will notice except those who keep an eye on quantitative analyses and call bull on the numbers. Industry analysts that got more than 10% of their predictions right will crow over their ability to predict the future. Nobody else will care. Industry analysts will make bold predictions for 2011 based on their current research agendas. Vendors whose offerings align will sign away millions in wasted ‘research.’ Software will conclusively prove that cows are the biggest contributors to greenhouse gases. The ensuing bovine cull will ensure population starvation on a massive scale thus solving our climate change issues. Those flogging carbon solutions will be put out of business. Someone will insert an RSS enabled RFID device into Mark Zuckerberg’s rectum so that we all get to know what he really thinks about privacy. As a result, Zuck will have to endure a TSA pat down but will opt to be processed in a private area. That won’t prevent any of us from knowing what’s going on while enterprise security experts study the resultant data stream with interest. Social business consultants will win huge government contracts - to be executed from padded cells over the next 25 years. People like me will be relieved that the madness of social business has been correctly allocated the appropriate resources. Social media will suffer a backlash (oops - it’s already happened but the social media mavens didn’t notice. This is just to keep them up to speed.) Read more at www.zdnet.com

 

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